(although I do think it is important in life for us to be happy)
I've been in a funk lately, maybe its because we've been to the doctor's office about 7 times in the last 4 weeks trying to get rid of the sickies in our house, but I have felt so tired, a little overwhelmed, and have been struggling to be/sound/stay positive when all I want is me-time.
The other morning, I noticed how snippy I was with the kids and the day had just started. I am not a talker in the mornings but my kids are. It is hard for me not to feel like my brain will explode with their questions, numerous requests for this colored cup, that particular spoon or for the whole banana ("so I can hold it like a monkey"-Susanna, "but take the sticker off first"-Drew) and I was suddenly hit with guilt. All I wanted was to get them off to preschool so I could get the house cleaned and run to the store but they were already driving me crazy. Truthfully, I was allowing them to drive me crazy instead of just soaking in that sweet time with them, maybe making some silly monkey faces with Sue-Sue while she ate that whole banana.
Some times I hear the way Drew fusses at Susanna, or she at him, and I hate the way it sounds, because I know they sound like me. Being a good parent is so hard (and humbling)!
I don't really start new years with resolutions because (and I got this from my father-in-law) I feel like I can always start fresh any day of the year. And I think I should. When I recognize something about myself I can improve, work on, or fix, I should start right then.
So now I have this goal to wake up every morning with purpose and to follow through. Maybe if, at the end of the day, I have lived that day well, and I do that every day, then in the end I will have lived life well. Sounds good to me.
1 comment:
I can completely relate to this lately. Why is being a mom such hard work??
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