paw paw bill and new life { + mom thoughts}

8 days after Will was born, Mike's grand-father died.  His funeral was held the following Saturday in Hammond, which isn't very far from us.  Family came in, Mrs. Donna, Ashley & Caleb stayed a few nights with us.  It was good.  We were able to get lots of visiting in and family members that wouldn't have gotten to meet our new little guy were able to get some snuggles in.  It was a low-key but beautiful ceremony.  I had to stay in the car and missed the graveside service because Jillian fell asleep on the way to the cemetery from the church.  But I watched from a distance and took in the beauty of the day.  It was sunny and warm with a cool breeze...it really was beautiful...and I could still hear the bagpipes from where I was sitting and bagpipes will always remind me of PawPaw Bill.

Earlier that day, Mike gave a really amazing Eulogy...it was funny and heartfelt, filled with stories of a life well lived. Uncle Robert gave the spiritual thought.  And something he said has stayed with me.  He talked about death being kind of like birth, how they are part of God's plan for us.  We start out leaving the comfort of the spirit world where we lived with Him and come to Earth to start our mortal life.  I wonder if we were nervous or scared then.  We live this life for as long as we are each given and then we leave it to embark onto the next life, as spirits again to learn and live with Him until Christ comes again.  I knew all of this but as he was talking, I looked over at Will, my brand-new, straight-from-Heaven baby, snuggled up against my mother-in-law, and a wave of fear came over me.  Fear!  I feared for this sweet little guy...for the trials and hard times he will face, having no idea what those trials and hard times might be and it really almost made me panic.  And then I felt totally confused...because really, this life is wonderful and fun and beautiful and happy.  Why was my first reaction so negative?!  Maybe because I know there are so many things I can't control or 100% protect him from...but then I know that although I can't control them, our Father in Heaven can and does.  He is aware of Will just as He is aware of me and all of us.  He has a plan for him, for us all, and like PawPaw Bill, he will live a life that will have trials and hard times but that will also have amazing, perfectly magical times...and all things, good and bad, will mold him into who he is supposed to be.  He will affect all of our lives and so many others for good.  Peace came over me then and I realized I was literally witnessing it all come full circle, watching it as it happened.  I was taking part in the celebration of the life of a man I have grown to know and love so much over the last 11 years who has now moved on to the next phase of his life...a life that to many seems scary but is really so joyful...all while in the throws of life with a newborn, who has a whole life ahead of him here with us on Earth.  It was a lot to take in all at once but gratitude filled my soul for my life and for the people in it.

 This photo of him next to his love, Liddy, makes my heart so happy.

I cannot express the gratitude I have felt as I have thought about this over the last few months.  We are all so blessed to be alive, to have a chance to live meaningful, beautiful lives, and to know that when this life ends, another meaningful, beautiful life awaits.