There is a lot of information out there for expectant mothers and I've read much of it over the years. In the last 6 years I've been either pregnant or nursing for 3 of those years. I've read a lot of books and articles, I've used different apps and gotten weekly and monthly email updates, etc. and I am not by any means a pro at this mom thing, but I have learned a few things about 4th pregnancies over the last 9 weeks and there isn't a lot out there about 4th pregnancies so I thought I'd share my "wisdom"!
1. With each subsequent pregnancy, I've looked up less and less information about pregnancy/labor/newborns. In fact, the only reason I reinstalled my BabyCenter app is so that Drew can watch the "baby videos"...yep he told me that right now it is an embryo and its in my uterus...there are a few that I won't let him watch...incase he gets too curious. But I have a feeling I'll have to educate him on how babies actually come out because "the doctor will get her out" worked with Jillian, but barely! If it weren't for the nausea, I would probably go a couple of days without really thinking about the fact that I'm pregnant, which probably sounds just awful but it is totally true. I attribute this to the 3 other kids I'm running around taking care of all day...and that is ok! If you are in the same boat, you are a busy mom! Don't feel bad about it! Just think of it this way, its prepping that kid for real life because it will only be the center of attention for a little while, then it'll have to share with everyone else!
2. No pregnancy is the same! While there are some similarities, all of mine have been different. I've had different symptoms each time and thankfully none of those involved vomiting...I definitely don't take that for granted...I know how lucky I am for that one! But its true, and I am still really surprised by that. I had lots of water retention and swelling when I had Drew but none with either of the girls. I have been more nauseated this time than with the first 3. I gained a little too much weight with Susanna than the others, I hardly gained enough with Drew so my doctor threatened to put me on a high carb diet, but I gained a normal amount with Jillian.
3. I definitely started "showing" sooner...or I guess it would be more accurate to say that I don't fit into my normal clothes already...if you saw me, you wouldn't be able to tell but the struggle is real! I knew this with Jillian, too (3rd pregnancy)...around 6 weeks I started using hair elastics and belly bands because my pants were too tight and I said good-bye to form-fitting tops. This time, it happened around 4 weeks, pretty much right when I took that test and saw that it was positive. I've already started wearing my maternity shorts and a few dresses but mostly I just use my belly band and wear flowy tops. I don't even want to think about going to the beach in a few weeks and putting on my swimsuits...eeesh!
4. I am less worried about baby stuff than I have ever been. I'm sure it is because I have collected enough over the last 6 years and there isn't much we NEED. But even the cutesie stuff just seems like stuff to me. What I packed in my hospital bag for Jillian was nothing compared to what I packed for Drew. There is definitely a market out there for baby items and a lot of them are great, adorable and amazing but honestly, I have found that I don't need most of it, me and my babies won't use most of it, and I just don't want to buy most of it! Don't be surprised it this happens to you! There are a few essentials and favorites I've discovered over the years that I'll stick to and I can share those in another post, another time!
5. I remember thinking each time about how the personality of our new baby would be. Who would this little person be, how could I possibly love another baby more than the first? I even wondered how they might sort of disrupt or complicate the life we had grown accustomed to (hormones, worry, etc.) but this time when I've had those thoughts creep in, they've quickly been pushed aside because now I KNOW how I will be able to love this baby just as much as his/her 3 siblings. I know that it will change our dynamic but it will be in such a good way. I know that he/she will just fit right in and that makes me so so so excited to meet this little person! Although Drew and Susanna might have me beat in the excitement department ;)
Ultimately, pregnancy is just one of those things that is different for everyone, every time. No matter what any one else's stories or experiences are, all of ours will be different, they will be our own. It is 100% ok to be informed and knowledgable, to read and research, but I've learned to trust my instincts and know that I will figure it out, no matter how I prepare. And that is pretty empowering.
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