Tuesday, February 22, 2011
to moms who have more than one kiddo...
I'm finding that this time around, my mind is not consumed by the fact that I'm pregnant. With Drew, it was all I thought about from the moment we found out. Is this normal with a 2nd pregnancy? I keep telling myself that I'm just distracted with Drew Babe and that since I sort of know what to expect, the "newness" isn't really there for me to focus on. I just feel bad that sometimes I'll go a few hours and think "oh wait, I need to take my vitamins!" or "oh yeah, I better eat something so I don't feel like I'll pass out". It's like I forget, momentarily. Thankfully, I don't have morning sickness constantly reminding me, which I'm sure makes a huge differnece, but still...someone has to know what I'm talking about! Did you feel guilty, too? Because I really do!
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5 comments:
Yeah. I was too busy to ponder much on Logan because we already had Calyn. Unfortunately it won't ever change. You'll never have the same amount of time for Drew as you have OR the new baby. You're time and attention will be forever divided. I felt sad at first when Logan got here because I was hurrying to take care of him, and then put him in the swing cause Calyn needed something. I'd get Calyn settled and have to leave her to tend to Logan. She'd ask me to sit and watch a movie with her, but I just couldn't because Logan needed me. I don't know if things got better or if I've just become used to dividing my time. It's helped that Calyn goes to preschool three mornings a week. I get those mornings alone for some quality time with Logan (when he's not napping!). And Cal stays up later than Logan so I get a few hours with her in the evening. It will forever be about "quality" time with your kids, not "quantity." Don't feel guilty. That's just how it is.
Jeni's right. You've only just begun with the mom guilt. It will consume you sometimes, but you will adjust to a new "normalcy". Going from one to two was the most emotionally challenging adjustment for me. I felt bad for Ayden to lose all of that precious time we had together. Those days were over. I felt bad that Ian would always have to share his time. But then I watched and learned that it was great for Ayden to learn to share his world and to love and be gentle with his new best friend for life. Then Ayden started Pre-K, and Ian DID get some one-on-one time with me...until Afton came around that is. Now it's a whole new ball game. I haven't been as emotionally torn now with three, but I AM TIRED!!! We have a strict bedtime routine so we can enjoy some peace, just me and Josh, before we turn in for bed. Then the madness begins all over again in the morning. I love the madness with my sweet little family! It truly is what I always wanted. PS WHen your little one starts kicking, you'll be more in tune with him/her. I miss that feeling and will never have it again:( Cherish it all!!
Jeni took the words right out of my mouth..adjusting to two children is very difficult..I am still trying to figure out a better routine and schedule to divide my time..its tough..just cherish every moment with Drew right now..love u!
100% normal to forget you are pregnant! Especially if you are feeling decent which is great! The mom guilt about EVERYTHING comes fast and furious. 99.9999% is unfounded and you can give yourself a break. I mean your baby has no emotional needs right now. She/he does no require any of your time (besides making you tired!) and Drew does. So take care of Drew when he needs it, take care of yourself when you need it, take care of Mike when he needs it and everyone will learn to start taking turns with your attention. The fact of the matter is you are only one person and if you are going to have a family they are going to have to learn to share you and your attention. When baby gets here Drew will get used to sharing you! You will get used to it too.
When I was pregnant with Liddy I felt so sorry for her because I just didn't think I could love anyone as much as I loved Ethan! And now of course there are four little nuggets to love!
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