thoughts on aging

Ok don't roll your eyes yet, I'm aware that I'm only 26 so if you are wondering about the title, don't think I'm feeling old! I've just been thinking about getting older lately, observing those around me that are and wondering when one gets to the point of feeling old. I still feel like a teenager sometimes, its hard to really wrap my head around the fact that I'm an adult :) but last week I had an experience that got me thinking about aging. Then I went to a funeral today of a woman who was 96 and there was another lady there who was 100 years old! So I started thinking about it again this evening.
We were at the beach with my family and my dad rented a set of beach chairs and umbrella. I had to talk to the young guy setting them up (probably 19 or 20 years old) about paying for them and as I walked back to our spot in the sand, I wondered if he thought I was just some typical mom/pregnant lady sitting on the beach with her family. I dawned on me that I might seem "old" to him (and definitely not attractive), when I don't seem old to myself. Then, we headed to the pool to meet up with my dad and when Mike and Drew got in the pool, these 30-something year old women with kids around Drew's age, started visiting with him, asking how old Drew was, etc. Not flirting, but just talking. I was sitting by my dad and he said "you know, I've been sitting here for 20 minutes, I've tried talking to both of those ladies and they just kind of shrugged me off, then Mike gets in the pool, all young and good-looking with a baby, and they just start chatting him up. That's one of the crappy things about getting old"! And I TOTALLY knew how he felt. So I shared with him my thoughts about the umbrella boy :)
I think that for most people, what hits them first is looking old, not really feeling old. I know my dad still feels young and really, he still is but for the first time, I think I understand how perspective really makes the difference. You start to think that others view you as getting older, even if you don't view yourself that way. It is really weird but is quite a reality. When did I stop being the young 21 year-old and turn into a mom with almost 2 kids that 21 year-olds call "ma'am"?! I'm a bit stunned by this!
So tonight, I got a little emotional thinking about a lot of this and wondering what was in store for Mike and I in the future. We have a family friend who was diagnosed with a terrible disease recently and the effects are starting to show. It makes me really sad to think about him and when Mike got home from work tonight, I made him promise that even if I get sick and he and our kids have to take care of me, that he won't let that change how he really sees me. I asked him to at least always try, even if it's hard, to remember me like I am now and to still think of me as the girl he fell in love with. I think that is one of my greatest fears; that if one day I become a burden to him, that he will slowly start to think of me as a burden and forget how we are now.
Maybe I'm crazy or too hormonal or whatever...I don't know, this is just what's been on my mind...maybe I just need to go watch The Notebook